It happens to every student eventually, unless you are one of the couples making this happen. You’re still busy running around all the bars drinking, singing karaoke, playing kings and pong, when late one hung-over afternoon your friend tells you he or she is getting married.
Ignoring the moment of existential crises and an overwhelming need to fix your friends life, the most significant question is what does one do? You may have never attended a wedding, or if you did it was when you were too young to see how adults act. In my experience and observation there are four key roles one can fulfill at a wedding. I’m not talking about the best man, bridesmaid, or DJ but as a guest. One can be the drunken buffoon, the social butterfly, Dr. Downy, or the chorus (borrowing a term from ancient Greco-Roman play structure).
Lets start with the most obvious of the four, the drunken buffoon. It’s a lot like the sucker at a poker table; if you can’t spot him or her you are probably it. The only difference in the case of a wedding one usually cannot remember playing this part. Telltale signs include wanting to continually undress at on the dance floor, always wanting to hear the band play Freebird and the DJ play “their song.” My suggestion, stay away from this person at all costs and save yourself embarrassment altogether.
A much more camouflaged version of the drunken buffoon who sometimes ends up fulfilling both roles is Dr. Downy. He or she will often be sulking in the corner trying to avoid talking to anyone at the wedding either because he or she knows no one or recently went through a breakup after checking “+1” on the RSVP. Dr. Downy will be whining to the one person they do know and slowly become intoxicated as the night goes on. Again, avoid this person at all costs.
Next up on the scale as we move towards respectable participants in this grand play is the chorus. The chorus, as in most plays fulfills the body of the action. They are hardly distinguishable from one another and often just have a few drinks and a good time meeting a few new people or chatting up a few old friends. There is nothing positive or negative about this role and therefore is a good baseline to work with.
Last but certainly not least is the social butterfly. The social butterfly will often flitter to and fro chatting up as many attendees as possible while trying to be the life of the party. Now keep in mind there is no life needed, and no one but the newly weds should provide said life. The most distinct calls heard from the social butterfly are often a combination of Performing this role is a delicate wire act and if done incorrectly could result in making a lot of enemies.
I tend to fall into the chorus role and believe it to be not only the safest decision, but also the most mobile. From the chorus I can move into whatever role I chose, usually by the amount of alcohol I imbibe. One thing is for certain, you’re not the one attaching yourself to another for years to come so have fun, laugh with friends, and most importantly don’t let the bride’s parents call the police on you.
