It is with great regard that I submit to the honorable students, faculty and staff of KSU a nomination for the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize. While standard practices indicate that nominations require a special form and any semblance of legitimacy, I forgot to download the paperwork from the Nobel website. Just roll with me here.
The primary impetus for nominating Arthur Clancy Yogarpantas Jr., without sole regard to his merits in racial relations and peace promotion, is his role in conceptualizing and developing the aptly-named yoga pant. Dr. Yogarpantas, of course, is not the only scientist to have spent the better part of his or her life attempting to improve the world or making humanity more prosperous; he is, however, the only person to invent yoga pants and that’s pretty good.
Arthur Yogarpantas was born on April 25, 1946 into a family of poor textile workers. Spending his early years learning the trade of his kinfolk, a young Yogarpantas pledged to one day create a garment so revolutionary that it would change the course of history, a garment that the good doctor would come to design by complete chance in 1977. Lucky for the citizens of the world, Yogarpantas drafted and sent a letter to his brother, Steve. We are able to look back upon this classic dispatch and attempt to understand the doctor’s mindset.
“In the honorable spirit of truthful discourse, my dearest brother, it is right that I say to you this dark secret,” he writes, “that while in the humble pursuit of craftsmanship I have created a garment sure to alter our great country’s future.” Yogarpantas went to describe the full design of modern yoga pants, highlighting numerous scientific leaps he would be the first to make. Closing his letter with great sentiment, the doctor shares with his family, “But seriously dude, you gotta see the ladies in these pants.”
It was that evening that Dr. Yogarpantas shared dinner with an anonymous test subject, known only in records as Subject DD. It was during this meal that the doctor presented a beta version of his new product to the first female recipient. The yoga pants were met with unrestrained approval.
From his lab, Yogarpantas released his new garment into Western culture. Soon, every woman on Earth was wearing yoga pants. Recollecting the success of his trousers in a letter to the editor of Maxim Magazine, the doctor wrote, “I like butts.”
Whether capped by high heels, pink Sketchers or knee-high boots, yoga pants rapidly became the article of choice for women’s wardrobes, specifically for women in their late teens and early 20s. By 2011, every single woman everywhere was wearing yoga pants. All of them.
Critics of Dr. Yogarpantas claim that yoga pants lead to severe sexual confusion in male human beings, but no conclusive evidence has been produced to back this accusation. At the highest point of critique, a make-believe survey that was not conducted resulted in a thesis that I am not the only person that sees yoga pants on women and feels like I’m cheating somehow. Right?
I ask of you, good gentlemen of KSU, to support this humble nomination by writing to the Nobel authority in patronage of Dr. Yogarpantas.
I ask of you, good women of the same prestigious university, to offer your feminine encouragement by continuing, with firm resolve, to wear articles of clothing that leave so little to my imagination. I can see your fallopian tubes, ladies, and I appreciate you for it.
This article is unneccesary and is offensive to females. This article is pretty much of a joke and is not the best way of using sarcasm.
This article was extremely offensive and degrading towards women. While reading the KSU Sentinel, I am expecting to read something that is worth my time. After reading this article, I am shocked that Kennesaw State University would allow this article to be published.
Mr. Tabbert, this article is unneccessary and irrelevant. I understand that you may have a problem with yoga pants, but you shouldn’t mock your audience, instead you should support your argument with reliable sources.
I do not think this article was very well written. It incorperated false facts and made many women feel uncomfortable.
I believe that this article is a huge joke, but not a very amusing one. It very clearly discriminates against women, and creates further reasons for women to be self- conscious about their body’s.
The article is creepy not funny. I feel the writer missed the humor he was trying to get accross.
This article is kind of offensive to women. He seems to be throwing out random statements and calling them “facts”. The fact that he also made someone up as the creator of yoga pants shows that this article is base souly on opinion. The end statement seems very rude to women and to say that every woman is wearing them is a false statement.
I do no think that this article is well written. It incorporates false information as well as false facts. Also, the way the subject was approached made me feel awkward and uncomfortable.
I believe that this article was meant to be humorous, but to me it just came off as defense. Yes, it was trying to purposely be controversal but I think that the article stepped over the line. This article could have been improved if it had some facts rather than pure opinion and lies.
I loved this article. I think that yoga pants are an important innovation and the female body is much more acceptable now that they are around. I feel like Brandon Tabbert is a brave soul who said what was on all of our minds. Plus, who doesn’t like fallopian tubes?
This article is offensive to females and is pretty much of a joke. This article is unneccesary and is not a good way of using sarcasm.
This article’s sarcastic tone demishses women’s feelings and presents facts that have not been proven. Without evidence and opinions from women, this author displayed a terrible example of an essay regarding fads.This articel came off as offensive towards myself and my entire classroom.
While reading the article on this topic, the level of sarcasm was extremely too much and came across offensive to not only myself but also others. The statements made were stated without actual facts but opinions that were not valid and uncalled for.
I believe this article is not only very offensive to women but also very creepy when he talks about being able to see women’s fallopian tubes when they wear yoga pants. I think this article should never have been posted in The Sentinel.
I read this article and thought it was a little offensive but also interesting. First of all there was no fact in this article. Second of all, yes, yoga pants are popular, but as a woman I can tell you that we do not wear them to be sexy. Yoga pants DO have a function for doing yoga, excersixing and of course for being comfy.
This article could not have been placed in the opinion section. Tabbert goes too far with many of his “claims” and although many find it highly offensive, this is absolutely his opinion and should be viewed that way. He is not wrong for thinking this way, but for publishing his opinion with made-up information. Don’t get me wrong, there is appreciation for the topic but he should understand why he will be getting looks of disgust from people who recognize him as “that guy.”
I believe that this article was somewhat funny, however extremely sarcastic. I am confused of what the authors goal was with writing this article. It talked about how yoga pants were invented, yet all of the information was made up and their were no actual facts. It almost seemed a little creepy because of the way that he was talking about how girls butts looked in the yoga pants. The author did make some good points about how fashion trends do spread very quickly, however I believe that some good facts could have improved this article.
While reading Brandon Tabbert’s article, “A thank you note to yoga pants”, I had some uneasy feelings. As a young male, it is offensive to me that another male would depict women in such a sexual way. It is demeaning to view women as “eye candy” or as sexually appealing due to a particular clothing. A male shouldn’t stare at women’s bodies just because it is pleasing. Women aren’t just pieces to be observed or stared at; if they were they would be placed in a museum. On the contrary, they have hearts and souls. Women should be respected and honored as valuable creatures.
I feel that this article is something every woman needs to read and become aware of. When dressing in such revealing clothes, woman are sending off the wrong idea and I am sure that Brandon Tabbert is not the only guy who has these sort of thoughts come to mind when seeing a woman dressed this way. Just because a certain style is the latest trend, does not make it okay.
My opinion for this article is that the author was somewhat inappropriate and personally makes me feel uncomfortable. His last comment was very inappropriate, talking about womens fallopians tubes. That is gross. Yoga pants are simply comfy cute pants that women should be able to wear to work out in or relax in, without comments such as the ones written by Brandon Tabbert.
This article really went all out on the effect of yoga pants and had a really good description of what people thought about yoga pants. Also, I thought it was neat how you made a fictional character seem so real. Great job!
In regards to the article written by Brandon Tabbert, I liked the obvious usage of sarcastic remarks. It was clear that this writer was not trying to write a serious article. The article was mildly entertaining and I think much of the students at KSU enjoyed the article and the wittiness of the author.
A funny article that expresses the growing trend of Yoga pants at Kennesaw State University, and college campuses across America. Although this may be considered sexist to some, most will understand the humor, and truth to this article.
My thoughts on this article would be that it was very sarcastic at the beginning with a hint of witty, but confused me at the middle because of the creation of the fictional character. Overall, the last quote was what made me react, the sense of a sexist approach was not very appealing.
I think this article was funny to read, however, I feel that maybe the author went a little far with his ending. I wear yoga pants all the time and do not feel I show everything…maybe he was getting confused with the many girls that feel wearing leggings as pants is ok…which is not..
I think this article was humorous. It was such a typical and funny view on the creation of yogapants. I especially enjoyed saying Dr. Yogarpants’ name every time I read it. Some of his comments may have seemed rude and sexist but if you just look at his picture of him picking his nose, then you see that your not supposed to take him completely serious. I feel like the people I heard that read it thought only about his offenses and thought he was “creepy” and “masochist”. Some people need to open their minds and stop taking things so seriously. I would not want to meet this guy but it seems like his articles could keep being comedic so I may actually read them.
This article might have some truth to it, but personally if I wear yoga pants it is not to show off how I look. They are really comfortable and sometimes I just don’t want to wear jeans. The author does have the right to state his opinion, and I agree that some girls need to be more modest.
While reading this article, I feel like Tabbert wrote a stricyly opinionated article. There were no facts and his “claims” didn’t really go far for me. I think that this was pretty funny becuase yoga pants has swept the campus, but the way he talks about females is disrespectful and unnecessary. As a women the statement, “I can see your fallopian tubes, ladies, and I appreciate you for it” feels like I am getting violated by a nasty man. I do think he did a good job by getting reaction of the Sentinel and maybe I might be looking for controversial atricles like this more.
This article was intertaining, however I was also offended by the lack of respect for women by Brandon. Yes, he has the right of freedom of speech, but does that mean he can say what he wants about girls in yoga pants. These girls wear yoga pants because they are comfy and they look good, but was this quote necessary? ” I can see your fallopian tubes, ladies, and I appreciate you for it.” No, this was over the line. I can see his points, but I would have to conclude that they were alittle perverse, and maybe too opinionated. He could have censored his opinions alittle more.
Overall, I thought the author went a little too far in his failed attempt at being funny. Not only was his information about the use of yoga pants false, but it also degraded women, making them all come across as shallow people who only dressed to get noticed. This is simply not true. In addition, the last sentence was absolutely ridiculous and too graphic.
I think the reason that the reason you insulted your audience was an attempt to be funny. I don’t think that it is wise to insult your audience, under any circumstances, especially at an attempt at poor humor. I, however, do understand what you were trying to do and agree with what you are saying. Those who take this article offensively need to look past the insults and see the article for its humor, which I believe was the reason why you wrote this article.
When I read this article I thought it was a very sarcastic , and kind of offensive paper to women. I also think that the writer should have redirected his statements to say women who wear legginigs leave nothing to the imagination, someone who wears yoga pants do not necessarily wear to flaunt themselves, usually they’re going to workout.
This article was very frustrating and disturbing for me to read. It was inappropriate the way the writer wrote his views about girls wearing yoga pants. The last sentence in the article was especially disturbing to me. I believe the author is getting yoga pants confused with girls on campus wearing leggings as pants. There is noting wrong with yoga pants, not many girls even wear them unless working out, it’s leggings the author should be writing about.
As I read the article, I was half offended/half on Tabbert’s side. I did not like his degradation of women, which is unacceptable. If you can get past his bad attempt at sarcasm, he does have some sort of point. In my opinion, yoga pants do have a time a place, and it’s called lounging around or going to the gym. But in the long run it doesn’t really matter who is wearing yoga pants or not; they were made to be comfortable. What really matters is the fact that girls everywhere are wearing Nike shorts and UGG boots.
Mr. Tabbert,
Clearly you have striven to appear sarcastic, ironic, and/or cool in your composition of this article. However, your final product comes off as misogynistic, offensive, and blatantly sexist. In fact, upon my initial reading of your article, I felt that you should issue an apology for this offensive piece in the next edition of The Sentinel. I truly do understand your intention to be humorous, and while our patriarchal society might make it seem acceptable to objectify women through the clothes they wear, it absolutely is not. That sort of activity is the same train of thought that leads to the blaming of rape victims for their choices in attire and slut-shaming; you have a responsibility to your readers to write about and show them what is acceptable and appropriate. The sexist overtones of your article make it difficult to take you seriously as a writer, as does your confusing creation of a fictional historical character. In short: You are trying too hard with this article. Whether this was in an attempt to be funny or not, it isn’t acceptable. Offensive isn’t funny. As a writer, I’m sure you can think of other, more interesting and creative ways to amuse your audience.
Thank you note to yoga pants: A lot of comments have been made about Tabbert’s essay on yoga pants but what do you expect from someone who publishes a picture of himself picking his nose? His comments are in poor taste, but not unexpected from this person.
I believed the article on yoga pants missed its mark on ironic and tongue-in-cheek and went straight for overdone and overly descriptive. Using words like “fallopian tubes” to drive your point home only makes the paper sound creepy and offensive, not funny and lighthearted.
Everyone is entitled to a personal opinion- mine is that thought that the article was disrespectful towards women. However, even with this, I heard to much hype being brought on by fellow students. There are s few things that seem to be conveniently (if temporarily) forgotten. One, girls know what they look like in the stretchy, skin-clutching material, and two, we females have already figured out by this time that males are extremely visual creatures. Therefore, any publicity about ‘disrespect’ could be argued. No, most of us do not wish to be ogled like a piece of red meat, and honestly, the article could have been worded differently, but questions may be raised. Are girls simply opening the door for disrespect by showing off their ‘fallopian tubes’? Or perhaps males need to learn actual respect? How about both. I give the conclusion that females should be able to wear what they wish without the thought of an unsavory somebody analyzing the shape of the derriere.
I find this reading to be quite humorous and more-less an immature peice fo writing for the school news paper. The fictional story of Dr. Yogarpantas revolves around the mid 1900’s and the development of trends. I agree that yogopants are quite common among females and I also agree that they are a substitute for wearing trendy clothes. I do find it strange and funny that Brandon refers to an internal organ as something people see on individuals who wear yogapants. The last statement yes funny, however a very sexist disturbing quote.
I am amazed that Kennesaw State would allow such an article to be published. For something so outrightly sexist and degrading towards women, the first thing this article should have done was go in the trash. Disregarding the grammar and spelling errors throughout the newspaper, this article is an embarassment for the paper and an embarassment for the author.
I think this article was well written because the author makes a very good point. I believe his point under the crude humor is that young women wear very revealing clothing now a days. Yoga pants were made to workout in because they are very thin, stretchy and tight fitting. they are made this way for women to move in all the awkward positions they have to be in for yoga. I do believe young women wear revealing clothes these days and believe it or not they wear it subconsciously to appear attractive. The author does seem to go to far in the conclusion but it was only to get attention from the readers. Overall, I do not hope to see a change in women’s clothing but, a change in their attitudes.
I feel as though this article was pretty degrading towards women. Being a male, it is weakness when it comes to seein girls walk by in yoga pants, but it is not necessary to delve that deep into the mind of a male to depict what yoga pants do to his mind. The author of this article took it to an extreme. I know he was trying to throw humor in to an attract readers, but his wittiness came across as sexist. I have heard several people talking about how the article was offensive. Instead of talking about what yoga pants do to males, the author should have included some female imput on the benefits and reasons why yoga pants are so popular and not just the negative affects it has towards the way women look when they wear them.
The article did express the fact that yoga pants are very popular among many college girls, which is true. But I don’t think he is getting the right idea about the pants. Girls don’t wear yoga pants so that you can see their fallopians tubes, or look gross. That comment was gross and uncalled for. They wear them because they are cute, comfortable, and can make some girls feel good about themselves. He shouldn’t be thinking this way about women it’s just gross.
This article was extremely offensive to me because of how he stated at the very end about fallopian tubes. Through out the article, he tried to be witty and funny, but his awkward sense of humor came across sexist and crude. He degraded women and made us seem like just a piece meat to stare at. I have always felt comfortable on this campus, yet I question whether to even wear yoga pants because of his outwardly views on them. (and I actually do practice the art of Yoga) How he stated he felt about them is somewhat disturbing. Basically, this article is completely degrading and I do not know why Kennesaw would allow this to be printed.
I rather feel that this article was somewhat offensive towards women. A point of sexuality was brought up using yoga pants and it was not necessary. I understand that the author might have been trying to be humerous; however, it was not a success. Myself and other classmates didn’t respond to it by laughing our heads off. We were rather confused as to why the author turned a comfortable pant into a walking site of intimacy.
I see this article as overdone sarcasm, but i feel as though it is meant to be. Tabbert seems to be expressing his disgust with yoga pants more than anything. From my point of view, he is using the over dramatic language and exaggerations to express his want for girls not to wear yoga pants.
This article was offensive to women across campus. With an article like this being published in our school paper it comes off as if the newspaper staff does not take their job seriously. Not only was the way this article was written rude and immature but it was also inappropriate for the editor to allow this article to be published. It is not figuratively to state that everyone is wearing yoga pans because of this made up “Dr. Yogapanas”. I personally do not even own a pair of yoga pants so therefore am i not included as everyone? Stating that you can see a woman’s fallopian tubes is completely inappropriate and immature. However, it was also as equally inappropriate to allow something as immature as this to be published. Not only the article itself but also the picture of the author is very immature and provides another reason as to how it comes off the believe that our newspaper staff does not take their job seriously. If we are going to allow students to post articles in the paper while they are picking their nose and inappropriately referring to women body parts then we might as well just recruit high schoolers or for that fact even middle schoolers who could do a more professional job in a more mature way than this article was written.
I feel that this article was completely uncalled for. Yes, yoga pants have become very popular recently and they do reveal more than your typical pant, but for someone to go as far as to objectify women who wear them and publish it in a school newspaper is very unprofessional. What kind of image does this place on the campus? I personally feel that this is a negative reflection on KSU. This should not have been allowed to be published because of its deragatory content, inaccurate information, and grammatical errors. Overall, this article was not worthy of being published in a school newspaper.
I found this article very humorous. I read some of the other comments and found that other people seem to find this offensive. The whole article is a joke and needs to be treated like one. The writer is not trying to be offensive and is simply trying to make a funny article. I think he succeeded.
I understand what the writer is trying to do in this article and I realize that any of these statements are not meant to be taken seriously. However, what is said in this article has seemed to create controversy from many people and is reguarded as offensive to women. The author attempted to come across as a wholesome fun loving comical guy. Rather, certain descriptions such as, ” I ask of you, good women of the same prestigious university, to offer your feminine encouragement by continuing, with firm resolve, to wear articles of clothing that leave so little to my imagination” makes him come across as someone who would be lurking in the dark and admireing women from afar. The attempt to generate laughs while still having a tasteful style has failed.
I think this article shows how popular yoga pants have become among college girls, but I don’t think he had the right to degrade them as much as he did. Girls do not wear these pants so that guys can see everything they have. They wear yoga pants because they are comfortable and they just feel like dressing down that day. he had ablsolutely no right to make some of the comments he did about the girls, I am personally very offended.
As my English 1102 class read this article, we could not believe the absurdness of this article. There was a level of sarcasim throughout the entrire article; however, it was to the point of overkill where it was just annoying to read. First of all, facts were wrong in the article. It seems as if what Mr. Tabbert meant by the term yoga pants was really when girls on campus wear tights or leggings as pants. These are very different articles of clothing and depending on how they are worn can be both appealing or crude to the eye. The ending statements about fallopian tubes was repulsive and shouldn’t be expressed in such a way.
I understand his efforts in trying to write a satire article, but it was definitely done in poor taste. I found his snide comments appalling and demeaning. I feel Mr. Tabbert owes his readers an apology and should be reprimanded for his article. I think the editor is at fault as well. This article should have never been printed. Thank you note to yoga pants is very unprofessional and makes the entire paper seem less credible. I am astonished that Kennesaw State would print such comments.
I am very aware that female students of Kennesaw State University wear yoga pants daily. The following article speaks about this topic in a negative way towards women. Some of the statements made by the author are uncalled for and should not be included in the school’s newspaper. I feel almost as if the author was attempting to take a comedic approach when writing the article, but this certainly was not funny in any way.
I think that this article is an insult to women. First, women do not only wear yoga pants because everyone else is. Some women chose to wear yoga pants because they did not get any sleep the night before, all of their other clothes are dirty, they are planning to exercise later, they like the way they look, or they want to be comfortable. The type of clothing the writer is referring to is more associated with leggings than yoga pants. If one wears yoga pants correctly, they are not as tight as the writer would like his audience to believe. The writer degrades women by wanting them all to wear yoga pants,so that guys can look at their bodies. The writer especially goes too far when he states that “he can see their fallopian tubes”.
It was comical to read this article in the Sentinel. I think a lot of people are getting bent out of shape over it for no reason- it’s a simple truth. I would say that maybe he got confused and might have been thinking of the leggings girls are wearing as pants though. I get tired of seeing it myself and it was funny to have someone actually call girls out on it. Now if we could just have him write an article about guys sagging pants!
Lighten up people.
People write columns about serious issues like war, crime and injustice.
And you all get your yogapants in a wad over this?
The column was funny.
The fact that it has over 50 comments (to which I am contributing no less) is a disgrace to public discourse.
Personally, I think this article needs a bit of a clean-up. The author is unclear about his point. Is he trying to make fun of girls who wear revealing clothing and saying that wearing yoga pants is unattractive? Or is he actually trying to make an embarrassing attempt to complement women who wear them? It seems satirical yet he sounds inappropriate.
The individuals who negatively responded to the author could not see the intricate level of sarcasm and utter witness because they were opposed to his take on yoga pants. It’s unwise to try and appeal to an audience you are also critiquing, but if the point of journalism is to cause reaction then he accomplished just that. Though I cannot advocate the authors opinion, I do commend him on his writing style. As a writer when you find a topic that’s controversial it’s best to explore it in a way that will cause the most feedback. It would seem to me this author explored a distasteful topic in a whimsicle like manner quite well. Afterall, there’s no such thing as bad press.
This article is very degrading to women, and is in no way funny. It is also weird and creepy when he talks about leaving little to the imagination and being able to see a girl’s fallopian tubes when she wears yoga pants. Reading this article and seeing what he has to say about women wearing yoga pants makes me never want to wear them again. It makes me feel violated as a woman because of his degrading tone. Even if he does think women look good in yoga pants he could have said it in a much better way.