By surrounding yourself with people that challenge your view, rather than always being a mirror to your voice, these differing opinions help you grow as a person and prepare for life off-campus.
Friends that oppose your own opinion give you the opportunity to learn about the lives behind the perspective — they inform you about why they think differently and if you approach the conversation with an open mind, you can gain some real understanding of the opposing view. They also challenge you to think critically about your own opinions. During a debate, you’re forced to consider the motive behind why you think the way you do, and you can even learn something new about yourself.
A 2004 study by Anthony Lising Antonio, a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Education, shows that people, when faced with a perspective different from their own, are more likely to be thoughtful and insightful than if faced with someone with similar views as their own. Instead of nodding their heads and agreeing over the table, people are inspired to dig into the facts and the motives behind their opinions. In return for their efforts, they become more aware of the world around them and the vast array of people in it.
Your opposing friends can help you to develop acceptance, empathy, patience and ultimately, respect. When you are a part of a group that shares differing opinions openly and without fear, you learn to not judge too quickly or look down on them just because they are different from you. Intolerance is not a good look overall, especially as students.
San Francisco State University President Les Wong states that the best way to engage in conversations of opposing opinions is by “exploring, analyzing and carefully listening before drawing conclusions.” Friends that do not agree with you still provide a safe environment for you to grow these skills that will be vital when you enter the working world and are faced with more dissimilarities.
Despite popular belief, your opinion is not fact. Opinions are malleable and personal, and there will always be people that disagree with you. Living in an echo chamber of friends that share the same stance as you will not help you grow the way healthy, respectful differences do.
Christina Pazzanese of Harvard Law warns us of the dangers of this as “many people now operate in virtual gated communities” without ever venturing into healthy debates.
Friends who challenge you help you to become more confident in yourself and bring more excitement to life by pushing you out of your comfort zone. We need the challenges and the personal connections to keep us happy and functioning.
However difficult the head-butting can be, what you gain and the lessons you learn from these relationships far outweigh the dissonance. Your diverse friends can educate you about the lives of those with opposing views and foster more critical thinking as a result.
