Satire: Georgians in panic after one inch of snow

I remember that night well. As I laid there with my dog snuggled against me, and Netflix humming in the background, my phone buzzed from my nightstand.

It was the notification we all secretly hope for when the temperatures start to drop and the days become frigid. Gov. Deal declared a state of emergency until the following afternoon. Freezing rain, sleet and ice were expected to land in Kennesaw and the surrounding counties.

I knew I had to prepare myself for the greatest snowfall of 2018. Since I could not drive in the snow, I had to make sure I had an ample amount of food for the next 24 hours. Like any other Georgian, I tore to the nearest Kroger to grab my much needed bread and milk.

Alas, upon arrival, I realized the beloved snow day treat was gone! Relentless, I decided to head to Walmart. As the rain began to fall, I knew that it was only a matter of time. I hugged my North Face fleece closer, realizing that it was not nearly warm enough. It was time to face the Walmart parking lot.

Thankfully, I managed to get my hands on the last loaf of bread and gallon of milk — victory! With my prizes in tow, I headed back to my apartment to really prepare. I made sure to drive safely at only 10 miles per hour. My mom would have been so proud.

When I finally got home, I realized that I had several flashlights and candles laying around my apartment. A power outage didn’t scare me! I promptly put away my bread and milk right next to a pack of water bottles. I decided to take the initiative and make coffee tonight. Even if the power went out, at least I would have coffee.

Now it was time to wait. I bundled up with hot chocolate in hand to watch Christmas movies (in January, of course). If it snowed overnight, this would surely get me in the mood for snow. I also remembered to grab makeshift sleds. This would be the best snow day.

I finally decided to go to sleep, hoping sugarplums would dance in my head. When my alarm finally sounded, I sprung from the bed and threw open the curtains, and nothing did appear — not a single snowflake had fallen. I stepped outside just to be sure.

No snow. I sighed and trudged back inside to grab breakfast. At least I had bread and milk, I thought.

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