Worst of Film: 2013 Edition

Photo courtesy Relativity Media
Photo courtesy Relativity Media
Some of the actors in “Movie 43’s” star studded cast even requested out of the project because of how awful it looked.

Movie 43: Released very early on in the year, it is hopeful that this film has faded out of the memories of those who suffered through it. This collection of unrelated, offensive, and obscene sketches failed to impress any viewer. It is baffling just how the producers convinced so many high-profile actors and actresses to take part in this abomination of anthology films.

Upon first glance, who would not want to check out a comedy film starring the likes of Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, and many more? But after the first two sketches, this film becomes nearly impossible to watch, and by the end the viewer is left feeling offended, uncomfortable, and likely even ashamed. It is impossible to tell what kind of audience this film was intended for. Its comedy is unbelievably immature, but still so vulgar it deserves even an NC-17 rating. Now widely considered the worst movie of all time, “Movie 43” embarrassed 2013.

 

Sharknado: The tagline “ENOUGH SAID!” on “Sharknado’s” poster certainly says enough about how seriously this movie takes itself. This made for TV Syfy film raised more than a few eyebrows leading up to its release this summer. People knew pretty much just what to expect,

but the hype surrounding “Sharknado” was a tornado itself, concealing the disaster that the film would have been if it were held accountable for its horridness.

The story is incredibly predictable, and the stale characters have no development to make their horrible acting worth viewing. Perhaps if the producers had begun hyping this film before production, it would have been granted a budget large enough to allow for slightly passable effects in the least. Plenty will say that despite all of its obvious flaws, “Sharknado” is an enjoyable disaster. So let us just say this one falls under the “so bad it is good” category.

 

A Haunted House: With Scary Movie 5 also having released this year, it is clear that there is still an audience for these types of spoof films. Many can argue that the genre has grown stale through overuse, but that does not mean it is not still worthwhile, so long as the spoof pokes fun at the clichés of the genre under the microscope. This year’s “A Haunted House” fails to do that on just about every level. It expectedly falls victim to countless weak laughs instead.

Instead of actually making fun of the ridiculousness of found footage horror films, “A Haunted House” takes every chance it gets to throw in a fart or sex joke. It painfully ignores what makes a spoof a spoof. Because it is simply making fun of horror films, it absolutely did not have to involve race, but of course it is full of stereotypes and (perhaps unintentional) racism abound. The spoof genre should not have to die a horrible death like it has in 2013, it just needs to remember what made it so fun in the first place.

 

We’re The Millers: Perhaps the most arguable film on this list, “We’re the Millers” at least has enough confidence in its plot to drive it forward. The premise is interesting, no doubt; but shallow scripting keeps the film from having any stand-out moments or genuine laughs. The entire film is situational comedy, cut from the cloth of “The Hangover.” But in the end it feels as if the jokes were scraped from the bottom of the Wolfpack Trilogy’s barrel.

Throughout the entire road trip designed to smuggle weed across the Mexican border, all four of the flawed and unlikeable characters are thrown into insane situations that never really allow them to either redeem themselves or explain their problems. “We’re the Millers” slogs along to the finish line, more focused on delivering quick-stop one-liners than having any heart.

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