A Kennesaw State sociology professor held a workshop Feb. 13 to discuss interpersonal intimacy as it relates to successful and healthy relationships.
Students voiced their personal anecdotes, and professor Melvyn Fein provided tips for open and honest communication within an intimate relationship.
“We live in a world where people want love but don’t get love because they don’t know how to be in a relationship where they can be themselves in an honest way with another human being,” Fein said.
He described the first part of an intimate relationship as the “biography swapping” stage. During this stage, Fein said, two people in a relationship put on a facade. They only reveal the best details about themselves to each other in an attempt to make the other person like them.
He also mentioned the concept of the “looking-glass self,” which states that we learn about ourselves by the way that other people see us.
“The dating process can include a lot of discovery and can be especially disconcerting if you don’t know where it is going,” Fein said.
Fein noted that honesty is the best policy to keep a relationship healthy. Each partner will eventually find the weaknesses of the other, he explained, and it is how they react to those weaknesses that define the future of the relationship.
“To have something that lasts, [that] takes a while,” Fein said.
During their discussion, Fein asked students to describe something they would look for in a person and in a relationship.
“Someone who I can be myself with and appreciates me for who I am, to appreciate my intellect and my heart,” said sophomore psychology major Savannah Johnson.
Fein said that trust is the most important part of intimate relationships, but that trust also creates vulnerability.
“How do you figure out who you can trust?” he asked. “How do you know when someone breaks trust? If you’re going to be with somebody, they can hurt you.”
To determine if a person is trustworthy, Fein said that the best advice he could offer is to observe the way that they treat others.
Fein concluded the workshop with a takeaway for those in attendance: in intimate relationships, there will always be conflict and differences. The only successful relationships, he said, are those in which people take effective steps to work things out honestly and fairly.
