By Felecia Glover, Contributor
Meeting new people can be intimidating, whether it’s looking for a fun date, an overnight companion, or a long-term relationship. When I first heard about Tinder, I thought it was an odd, almost disgusting app almost like a hot-or-not style dating system. I didn’t want to be judged that way.
It wasn’t until a good friend of mine started to describe her experiences with the app, that I realized this was normal for people my age. I used to think this is something people in their forties need to meet new people. “I’m young, I can meet people on my own,” I thought.
If it had not been for my curiosity, and my best friend’s insistence that it’s “just something all of us do” I wouldn’t have found my boyfriend of six-months, and what I would describe as my most healthy, compatible relationship yet. But, I am not the only one who is in a successful relationship, thanks to online dating, according to NY Daily News, one-third of married couples in U.S. meet online.
I decided to take the plunge. What could it hurt? It was free, easy to use, and if anything it would be a good way to kill some time. So I set up a short profile, posted a few photos, and tag-lined “just moved back to this area.” I was new to Tinder, and still not sure how I felt about it.
I was overjoyed at my first few matches, but put off when no one was messaging me first. The first conversation I had was with Pete Za, someone I had matched with who had a profile picture of a pizza. What I found to be a hilarious onslaught of pizza puns ensued, including “you just can’t top that,” “there’s not mushroom for anything better,” and “I think I have crust issues.”
Sure, it was a stupid first conversation, and a probably a waste of time, but it helped to take the edge off and coaxed me to just try to enjoy the conversations I could have.
Following this, I spoke to some men that were excessively forward for my taste, others with far too much baggage, and even some whose grammar and spelling was so atrocious that I couldn’t even take them seriously. I even have a folder in my last phone full of the ridiculous profile pictures people post, (one of which included a man riding a white horse, in his underwear, while holding an American flag.)
The story really began when I found Josh. His profile displayed that he was attractive, well-dressed, and didn’t attempt to woo me by showing how large of a fish he caught on that camping trip with his buddies last summer. His tagline, along the lines of: “Despite my pensive appearance, I’m really a nice guy.” “Bet you five bucks I can make you laugh,” caught my attention the most. I thought if he used the word pensive he might have a decent vocabulary, and I appreciated that he was confident about his sense of humor.
I was not disappointed. He quickly made jokes about my pictures, and when I told him my hair was now a boring shade of brown, rather than dyed like in some of the pictures, he proceeded to tell me about how his hair was most bland shade of brown in town. I dished out my dry humored jokes and puns, and he reciprocated. After a couple weeks of the back in forth, I decided I felt comfortable enough to meet him in person, for the first time in my Tinder experience. He accepted.
After a successful first date at a cozy coffee shop on the Square, we went on a few more dates and eventually started hanging out pretty regularly. Soon after, we became exclusive. I’ll admit, at first I was a bit nervous to tell my friends and family that I met my new boyfriend on Tinder, but once we were together, how we met didn’t matter. To my surprise, when I was looking for a simple distraction, I found love and happiness. What started as something casual and fun turned into a real romance. It’s funny how life throws you for unexpected loops, because just as I unexpectedly found romance from a dating app, my relationship situation unexpectedly changed while I was constructing this article.
I guess this isn’t a Tinder-ella story after all.
At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter where I met him. He was no longer a game in an app, or a face on a screen. He was a real person, we had a real relationship and real feelings were involved. Earlier this week, things ended just like they often do in young romances, and it is going to be just as difficult to work through as a relationship that began in a bar, classroom, or church.
