Kim Jong-un is a sexy, young heir living the American Dream in everyone’s favorite Communist, one-man dictatorship state: North Korea. Until the death of his father, Kim Jong-II, in Dec. 2011, Kim Jong-un was an unemployed 20-something living at home with his parents. Today, he runs a whole country.
Dan Bandow’s article published in the National Interest, asserts that Kim Jung- un is informally known as the “Cute Leader.” Americans admire this kind of unsound hero. Kim Jong-un is portrayed in a true underdog story of a young man following in his praised father’s footsteps, attempting to uphold the family name.
If Kim Jong-un ever left North Korea, he would have a glamorous hit reality show in the U.S. We could call it “Kim Jong-UnCensored,” airing every Sunday evening right after “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” on E!.
Kim Jong-un could be considered the Paris Hilton of North Korea, but with nuclear weapons. Now THAT’S hot. As if the U.S. was Hilton’s ex-best friend Nicole Ritchie, Kim Jong-un stands with his arms crossed and his nose up while he continues to give the U.S. the silent treatment, allowing rumors to spread through a he-said-she-said fashion between South Korea and the U.S.. This gossip keeps things interesting between nations; however, it seems that some information tends to get lost between North Korea and South Korea, as tin cans and rope often have lousy reception.
It is obvious that Kim Jong- un’s priorities as an heir are exactly where they should be: spending his daddy’s money. Nearly one-third of North Korea’s budget is spent on military. According to CNN World’s Facts on North Korea, military expenditures account for 31.3 percent of GDP expenditures, making North Korea, dollar for dollar, the world’s most militaristic state. North Korea also reportedly has a biological weapons program based at the National Defense Research Institute and Medical Academy, but given how the last rocket went, perhaps Kim Jong-un should just launch a fragrance line.
Kim Jong-un is focused on spending his country’s budget on way cooler things. The country is starving. Even though the country’s pudgy leader clearly keeps himself fed, he makes sure that his country’s citizens do not get too much to eat. Jong-un is doing a great job of making sure his country’s citizens are exactly what we Americans strive to be: skinny and fabulous. After all, who needs food when there is money to be spent on new shoes and missiles?
In their book “North Korea: Through the Looking Glass,” Kong Dan Oh and Ralph C. Hassig describe the country as living a “schizophrenic existence.”
There would be peace between North Korea and the U.S. if the glamorous Kim Jong-un would just embrace that he was born to be a reality television star. He would have such a successful career in reality TV here in the states that a spinoff with the Kardashians would have to be in order. It would be called “Kim & Kim Take Miami,” and there would not be any more wars.
Brittany is a Junior and a Communication major.
